Sam Sizer
My name is Samantha but I prefer to be known as Sam, I’m one of your two new NAS Cambridge Co-Branch Officers. I have two children age 12 and 8 years. My 12 year old son was formally diagnosed with high functioning autism in January 2004. Before I had my first child I was a nurse at Addenbrooke’s for 7 years, moving into community care for a further 5 years. I loved my work and was at the point of moving into junior management, but due to pressures with regards to my son’s education I found I had no choice but to resign.
Some of you old timer’s within our autistic community will be familiar with “the Sam story”, the path I followed to become your “Cambridge NAS Co-Branch Officer”. It’s a path many of you will relate to, as some of you will have shared similar trials and tribulations being the parent/carer of a person with an autistic spectrum disorder.
My son was recognised as having difficulties with communication and peer interaction from age two and half years, leading into delayed speech. He was known to the special teaching service from age four on entrance to our local pre-school attached to the primary school, sadly he was also excluded from this pre-school setting at this age. It was at the point of his exclusion that I felt my whole life change forever.
My husband and I felt that it was our parenting that was being questioned, I spent a great deal of time with my son at school and supporting him on school trips, continuing to feel judged. It was very early in reception year during one of these class sessions I witnessed my son to be so over stimulated he could not recognise me, I discovered “AUTISM”. I relayed what I had witnessed to a school nurse and she advised me to make an appointment with my GP as she suspected my son was on the autistic spectrum and needed a full assessment.
I thought once my son was diagnosed, our life would change, I had much to learn. Gaining a diagnosis for my son meant there was a reason for his differences and that there were no longer grounds to judge us as parents, although people’s knowledge, including some professionals, of ASD’s was limited, so we were still left with lots of explaining to do and sometimes hurtful criticism to cope with. I felt I was perceived as unreasonable, interfering, controlling, and was accused at one point of trying to gain attention for myself through my child. The truth was that I was just trying to be a good mum in a system that wasn’t designed to cater for my child’s needs, and so had no choice but to fight tooth and nail just to make sure he was treated with understanding
Up until 18 months ago my son had never attended school full time, he is in his fifth educational placement and has spent in total of nearly three years out of education. From age 4 to 9 years, he experienced a very unhappy time within education, which was not conducive to learning. Consequently by the time my son reached age 9 years, he had developed mental health problems. My own mental health also suffered and I was admitted to hospital with what seemed like stroke symptoms (age 35). I lost my use of speech and feeling in the left side of my body along with who I was for three days. This was later diagnosed as the result of prolonged traumatic stress and untreated depression.
As part of my recovery I decided I had to find a way of letting go of the anger and resentment I felt, not for the life I had been dealt, but the people that would not listen, and the system that did not work. I knew I wanted to work in helping to develop autism support but felt even with my years of experience I needed some sort of recognised qualification to prove my knowledge, and be taken seriously.
I enrolled with Birmingham University web-learn and completed the “University Certificate in Autistic Spectrum Disorders”. Through learning about the Development of disability support history I was able to put sense to what had happened to my son and our family and learned acceptance of service limitations, through their lack of base knowledge, experience and money. Working along -side professionals on this course in groups, I was able to regain confidence in the value of my hands on experience. The combination of these two factors gave me the strength to move on emotionally.
In 2008 our son was suitably educationally placed for the first time in eight years, in a full time educational placement that was autism specific and in most respects we have became a NORMAL family again. Although my son it now happy and learning again, some of the damage caused will take many years to reverse, if ever. If in taking the position of NAS Cambridge Co-branch officer I can help prevent one person experiencing the heartbreak of watching their child/loved one or family member fall apart, or in some way help break the isolation so many of us experience, the suffering my own family have endured will finally hold meaning.
Thankfully services have moved forward, but many of the things I have experienced are sadly still happening to other families. I hope the formation of a NAS branch in Cambridge will help give individuals, Families/carers of people with autism, a united voice to help shape a brighter future for us all. Now running our own locksmith company, I find myself in a position I can put in the time needed to help work towards making this a reality. We have a long way to go, but together, we are stronger.
Regards, Your Co Branch Officer, Sam Sizer.
